


Ant-Worshippers are such a Drag

by RelenaDuo



Series: Learning to be an Avenger [2]
Category: Ant-Man (Movies), Misfits (TV 2009), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Dimension Travel, Drama, Gen, Humor, Spirits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-30
Updated: 2016-11-30
Packaged: 2018-09-03 10:17:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8708626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RelenaDuo/pseuds/RelenaDuo
Summary: After landing himself a spot in the New Avengers Facility Nathan tries to get himself a somewhat normal life. Of course this is Nathan we are talking about so nothing ever goes as planned. Language warning since this is still Nathan Young.Sequel to Dimension Travelling is such a Drag.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So I didn't think I would be posting the second part to this so soon and I was going to have an exam this week, but then our teacher got who knows what and is now in the hospital, so the exam got cancelled.  
> She's all fine and will be out soon, but this at least gave me some free time to write this.

“Oi, you cunts! Brought the lunch. Again. Like it’s my fucking job or something”, announced Nathan Young as he entered the scientific research area of the New Avengers Facility, carrying several bags of lunches.

“It actually is your job, you idiot”, says one of the grumpier scientists as he goes to grab his lunch and sneers at Nathan when he holds it away from him.

“Back off, you twat”, says Nathan, “For your information my job isn’t to be your coffee boy, I’m here to work as a lab assistant that deserves all the respect!”, he finished haughtily.

“Like hell it is, now give me my lunch you little scoundrel!”

Nathan pulls the lunch away once again, “Who even says scoundrel nowadays? Were you born last century? I bet you were!”

“Nathan, for the love of all things good, give the man his lunch!”, said an exasperated Erik Selvig, the big honcho of the science division.

Nathan rolled his eyes and gave up on all the lunches he was hoarding, “Whatever.”

He received one last sneer from Mr. Grumpy before he was finally left alone to continue his job.

Slumping down on one of the nearby chair, Nathan began to twirl around on the chair as he plugged his ears with his iPhone and set the volume to maximum.

Listening to trash metal while he observed most of the scientists continue with their work as they occasionally nibbled on the lunch he’d had to carry from the reception up here. Not that it was very far and sure, he’d used the elevator, but it didn’t change the fact that these people were a bunch of ungrateful twats.

He didn’t even want this job. Well, it wasn’t precisely like that. There had been this whole first couple week at the Facility where he hadn’t had a problem in the world to let other serve him from head to toe and he would have continued with that attitude if it wasn’t for one little thing.

He still remembered rather vividly the day his mom had kicked him out of the house the consequent months he hadn’t had a real home and had to live from what he could steal from the vending machines. Sometimes Kelly or even Barry would bring him something if they felt like it, but mostly it was him alone on this world to care for himself.

He didn’t want to go through that again.

So after a couple of weeks of living the good life, Nathan had done perhaps the first responsible thing in his entire life. He’d started to look for some way to make himself useful at the Facility.

Being bored out of his mind after a few weeks of having absolutely fucking nothing to do might also have helped a little to make that decision.

First, he’d thought he’d watch the janitor and see how his job was. After all his time cleaning up after other people’s messes at the Community Centre he knew by now how to handle some garbage disposal. Or so he thought. Turns out that a bunch of superheroes can trash up a room thrice as badly as any normal human being and also thrice as quickly. The rooms almost always also had oil stains from one of the many machine-based heroes or stuff twisted up like somebody had been playing with reality at that moment.

He’d given one of those trashed up rooms one glance and decided to move on.

Next he’d watched the gardener. They had no real garden so the job ought to be easy he’d thought.

They did turn out to have a big ass lawn though. There was a guy with a lawnmower working the lawn while looking like he had died a little on the inside every time he saw the size of the lawn.

Nathan had bailed out of that after about five minutes of watching the man move at a pace that would put even a turtle to shame.

He’d also almost immediately discarded the idea of becoming one of the soldiers or one of the unfortunate dudes that had to oil the robots or machinery that the superheroes used.

When he was about to give up completely he’d spotted the science division and figured, why the hell not? He’d found the big honcho Selvig on wits ends about needing an extra hand on some experiment so he’d offered.

In the end he only had to hold a tube of blue stuff for about an hour, but the guy had noticed him and thanked him. So Nathan was back the next day and the next and the next. It had taken time, cause Nathan was still Nathan and he could only be patient for so long before he began saying stuff that annoyed people, but fortunately by the time some of them hated him enough to ask for him to be kicked out he’d already secured a job for himself there as – well – he wasn’t sure what the hell was his official job there.

But it was still his job, dammit! They gave him a couple dollars each week for his bother and now nobody could call him a leech or useless or whatever since he was earning his stay.

He was jolted out of his reverie when honcho Erik motioned for him to come over.

“What now?”, he sighed as he took out his plugs.

“Make sure to pour exactly 5.5 milliliter of this into the main tube 3”, he said as he absently handed over the tube to Nathan, going back to looking into a microscope and being a certified deaf.

Nathan looked at the tube with some clear liquid in it in his hand and shrugged.

“Eh, why not”, he said and went to what he assumed to be main tube 3, judging by the giant 3 that was drawn on it.

“How much was a milliliter again?”, he wondered as he prepared himself to pour some of it. This wasn’t the first time he’d been asked to actually do something important in the lab. The people there sometimes got distracted and forgot who they were talking to when they handed him things. Most of the times there actually wasn’t a problem with what they asked him to do, but then-

The explosion that came from main tube 3 as he undoubtedly poured more than 5.5 milliliters into the concoction was deafening and threw him against the wall. 

-sometimes he did mess up. Because, hell, he barely remembered his chemistry teacher’s name, never mind what he actually taught.

* * *

 

“Well, another day, another fuckup. Though not too big this, I’d say we’re improving!”, he said gleefully.

Cap just looked at him like he wished he knew how to deal with him, but clearly didn’t so he just settled on frustration, “Nathan, you have to stop taking chemicals from the scientists”, he said like it pained him to say those words.

It probably had something to do with the fact that Nathan had lost count of how many times Cap had said those words to him.

“Look, you shouldn’t worry too much, we know what we’re doing”, said Nathan with his best smile.

“No, no you don’t”, deadpanned Cap, “This is the fourth time this month.”

Nathan rolled his eyes, “But we’re all okay! Nothing happened!”

“A piece of ceiling collapsed, people near the explosion are in the hospital for poisoning now, it took us hours to get to where you were trapped and Doctor Selvig lost some of his meds in the debris”, Cap looked him in the eyes, “How you are even alive is a mystery, if not downright a miracle! Think what could happen to you next time? You could get seriously injured!”

Nathan had stopped listening halfway through his rant and got out some gum to chew on. It had become his habit after his first death when the first thing he got to eat was gum. That explosion had been something else. Nathan wasn’t sure if it was the poisonous gas that the chemicals caused that had killed him or the hit against the wall.

Maybe both? He was just glad that it had taken them so long to rescue him from the debris or they might have found him while he was still dead.

“Are you listening to me, Nathan?”, asked Cap as he looked at him with narrowed eyes.

“Yes, yes, I’m fine. Don’t get your knickers in a twist”, he rolled his eyes again.

Cap stared at him for a moment, sighed deeply, turned around and left while muttering, “I don’t even know why I bother.”

Nathan shrugged it all off and went to find something to occupy himself with since he knew that for the next couple days none of the scientific division would want him near their lab except to bring some lunch or a coffee or two. But they forgot soon, they always became so engrossed over some new shit that they discovered that they would one day just need another hand and would be too occupied to notice that this hand belonged to one Nathan Young.

Meanwhile he would go around the Facility and annoy people.

Well, maybe not Natasha.

You didn’t annoy Natasha Romanov unless you wanted to die. Painfully.

He might be an immortal, but that didn’t mean he didn’t feel any pain when he died and he was sure that if Natasha wanted to she could make all his previous deaths pale in comparison to what she could do to him.

He just knew this, he knew it from the look in her eyes after that time he’d made a comment about hot redheads in skintight suits. To be honest it had been his own special – albeit weird – way of complimenting her. How was he supposed to know inviting her to one of the changing rooms so she could show him her suit would make her give off a murderous aura?

He was still thankful that because of his job he didn’t much to do with any of the other Avengers, sure, he still ran into them since this was their workplace and some even lived here. But at least he didn’t have to interact with them on a daily basis.

Stark hated him, or loved to hate him, or hated to love him. He still wasn’t sure which exactly it was, so he very seldom saw the twat. He would often see Cap though, like today, since if – and when – something went wrong with Nathan it was his job to check on him immediately – something the Cunt Pirate had apparently set him up to do as the leader of this circus known as the Avengers, or New Avengers or whatever. Natasha he barely, if ever, saw since they both avoided each other. Him because he didn’t want to experience new levels of pain for letting his mouth run away again. She, because apparently she found him to be disgusting and repulsive, or at least that’s what he had heard through the grapevine of the Facility.

He often saw the Witch, given that they both lived in the Facility, but since she frankly freaked the shit outta him he had tried to stay away from her at the begging. Not that it had worked, really. She was one of the very few people here that had even an ounce of patience to deal with him. Same with the other freak of the Facility, the robot-not-robot, Vivi – no living on this planet or his home planet could make him call anybody the Vision, it was a name for pussies.

That left the two side-kicks – who always denied being such – Sam and that other dude, Rally, or whatever. He was almost never at the facility and if he was he was always flanking Stark which naturally made him his sworn enemy.

Making a turn down another corridor Nathan found himself at the older side of the Facility, almost nobody came these parts so he could always take a smoke without being told he would die of lung cancer or some shit.

“Hey grandpa”, he greeted the man as he eased himself on top of a crate. It was some sort of storage area, barely any light came in from the small windows it mostly smelled stale from lack of proper ventilation.

The man gave a sigh of exasperation, “Was that explosion of earlier you again?”

Nathan shrugged.

“You could at least have the decency to answer me, you know.”

“You shoulda gone checked if it bothers you so much”, he mumbled around his cigarette.

The man just gave him an unhappy look.

“Why do you even care?”, Nathan sighed, “Why do you refuse to leave this place? What is your problem grandpa?”, he almost felt like shouting at the man.

The man shook his head, “Never mind, what is news out there?”

Nathan’s eye twitched a bit, he took a deep smoke and fished his pack out from one of his pockets and started on a second one, “What? You mean boy wonder? Everybody’s talking about this thing about his girlfriend dumping him, the bastard.”

The man, already used to his crass language, ignored it, “That is so sorry, I really liked her”, he said wistfully.

“Why don’t you go bother him then?”, asked Nathan, “Go terrorize him until he gets back with her or something.”

“I have to stay”, said the man, “I have to stay until it’s the right time.”

“Right time for what? The Apocalypse? Right time for fucking what you twat?!”, he raged. Damn he sometimes hated this guy.

“I don’t know. I just know that I need to tell him something, but I don’t know what yet”, the man sighed, “I guess I’ll know when it’s time.”

Nathan huffed and took another deep smoke.

“Whatever it is have to say him, I know I also want him to know how much I loved him”, said the man as walked around the storage room aimlessly.

Nathan was silent for a moment and then cleared his throat, “Fine, just walk around the Facility so I don’t have to tell you everything”, he huffed, “It gets boring.”

The man smiled, “Okay, I will venture out some more”, he frowned, “And stop calling me grandpa, I don’t even have any grandchildren.”

Nathan rolled his eyes and threw down his used up cigarette and stomped on it as he jumped off the crate he had been sitting on, “Whatever Harry.”

“It’s Howard”, called the man exasperatedly as Nathan left.

“Whatever!”, he called back.

Howard sighed in frustration as he watched the brat leave, “Of all the people that can see dead people, it had to be that idiot to end up here.”

* * *

 

It had been a few weeks since the explosion, he was going through a record time without making a mess out of stuff when the alarms went off.

His first reaction was to shout at the nearest camera, “I didn’t do anything this time!”

A guard that came running by shouted at him, “We’re having an intruder in the Facility! Falcon has already engaged him outside!”, and then continued with his trot towards the more sensitive areas, like the science division.

“Ah, shit”, said Nathan and started to run to find someplace where he could hole up until all this was over.

He went to the older parts of the Facility where grandpa Harry was walking around the corridors nonchalantly while people ran through him, probably curious to see what was happening.

He found one of the back rooms that contained old classified junk that nobody used.

He hastily opened the door and without looking inside quickly closed it behind him.

Then, he relaxed and saw the man standing frozen in the middle of the room in some weird sort of suit.

“Oh shit”, he cursed, “I didn’t know you were hiding in here man”, he said. It was a commonly known secret that sometimes some of the soldiers would come take naps in the back rooms when they felt like it.

“You don’t mind if I just hide in here for a little while? There’s some jackass intruding or some shit”, he held up his hands, “If you don’t tell, I don’t tell.”

The man blinked a couple of times, “Uh, sure. No problem. I was actually – um – I just came here to fetch something – ah – that my superior – needed?”, the end of the sentence sounded like it had a question mark. Nathan supposed the guy was a bit nervous with the intruding shit going on.

“I need to go now, I don’t want my boss to get angry at me”, said the guy apologetically.

“Yeah, sure. You never saw me.”

“I never saw you”, the man nodded, “I also was never here.”

“Not at all.”

The man gave him a gratefull smile and went over to the door, gave a quick peek at the corridor outside and then jumped out as he called, “Bye!”

“Yeah, bye, whatever”, sighed Nathan as he slumped into one of the chairs, relieved.

“Crisis adverted”, he muttered in relieve.

The next day everything was back to normal, except Sam, who sat alone in a corner at the cafeteria as he sulked.

“What’s wrong with Sam?”, asked Wanda in her Eastern Europe accent as she sat with him at lunch time.

Nathan almost giggled with glee, “Didn’t you hear? He lost a fight with some ant-worshipper.”

Wanda stared at him and raised an eyebrow, “Ha ha, very funny. Now, what did really happen?”

“I just told you! He fought with some ant-worshipper yesterday on the roof and lost, Kevin of security has been giving private screenings of the fight to some of the crew”, he grinned madly, “I’ve gone twice already – it’s hilarious”, he smothered his laughter in his elbow as Wanda looked on in skepticism.

“You sure?”

“Absolutely. The big rule of the screening is to not tell Cap, since Sam apparently begged the guys at security to shush it”, said Nathan gleefully.

“You enjoy chaos sometimes too much”, she said as she shook her head, “Poor Sam.”

Nathan snorted, “Sure, poor him. Why don’t you go comfort your boyfriend, I’m sure that if everything else fails he’s got a case of blue balls you could help with.”

Wanda turned to look at him and narrowed her eyes, “Do you want me to turn you into a frog? I’ve never done it before, but I’m sure we could have fun trying it out.”

Scooting a little away from her Nathan glared at her from what he hoped was a safe distance, “You spend too much time with Russian Spandex”, he accused.

“She has a name”, reprimanded Wanda.

“Yeah, Natasha, whatever”, Nathan sullenly took another bite of his lunch.

Wanda shook her head, “Let’s go to security”, she said as she stood, forgetting her lunch entirely.

“Oh come on, they have a good thing going on there! Don’t stop them!”, whined Nathan.

Wanda grinned at him, “Oh, I’m not stopping them. I want to go see if it’s true about the ant-worshipper.”

Nathan grinned back as he stood up and flung his arm around her shoulders, “I knew I liked you!”

“Yeah, but I don’t like you enough”, said Wanda as she got free from his arm and took the lead to the security room.

“Oi, wait for me!”, he shouted and went after her.

Days later, he was playing a game of Go Fish with Wanda in the Avengers’ lounging room. Vivi had decided to sit out on the occasion and was watching the news on the telly like the boring prude he was.

“You lying cheater!”, Wanda was accusing him of cheating his way through the game.

He clutched his chest, “How can you say something like that? You’re hurting my feelings, Wanda, you’re breaking my heart!”, he said with as much emotion as he could muster.

“What heart, you don’t have any!”, said Wanda angrily, her accent stronger than ever now that she was angry.

“Of course I do! If I didn’t have one I’d be dead”, he nodded, satisfied with himself.

She narrowed her eyes at him, “It doesn’t change the fact that you were cheating!”

“I wasn’t! Vivi, back me up here!”

Vision turned away from the telly and stared at them, “I wouldn’t be able to give a fair judgment since I didn’t watch you play the game, but given your precedents I would agree with Wanda that you most likely did indeed cheat.”

Nathan gave him a betrayed face, “You were supposed to be on my side, Vivi! You were supposed to be the chosen one!”

Wanda just rolled her eyes at him, “Come on, show me you can play a game without cheating”, she challenged as she began shuffling the cards.

They were both so occupied with the game that neither of them saw the footage of a building completely disappearing on the telly that Vision was watching.

Vision, though, was giving it all his attention, “Fascinating”, he said.

**Author's Note:**

> So I tried to make this funny, but I think its not like the first chapter, since this one is more about Nathan settling in and also, the plot doesn't really advance in this.  
> I do have some plan for the next part which is gonna span the events of Civil War, but I'm not gonna write that until I get to watch Ragnarok. So next part is gonna take some time, but I need to make sure this doesn't deviate too much from canon.  
> I'm too obsessed with keeping stuff to canon to simply disregard everything and spin my own story out of thin air.


End file.
